Sunday evening has arrived. The weekend has gone and the Swans are now officially relegated to the Championship. I can’t help feeling deflated.
To add injury to insult, I’m battling with the beginnings of a cold and it is making me feel fuzzy headed. Concentration has been difficult whilst I’ve tried to get work stuff done today and, worse still, it’s impaired my ability to sing in the car (and presumably other places too). I’m trying to slay the cold with medication and I hope that it doesn’t turn into full blown woman-flu.
This week brings deadlines, meetings and a night out, so a cold is most inconvenient. My to-do lists have given me optimism that the week’s tasks are achievable. If I can get to the end of Thursday unscathed, I’ll be happy. I’ve been given some time to help get things organised which is going to be really helpful.
I have managed to have a walk today, plus I went to a local market and got some chores done, so I’m doing quite well, all germs considered.
I wrote a whole post and managed to discard it without publishing, which is pretty annoying.
Anyway, yesterday I made some bold claims about making a ‘to do’ list to help me tackle a busy time in terms of both work and home life. Well, I didn’t start my list until fairly late in the day, but that was mainly because I spent the rest of the day (after a decent lie in) doing housework that would have formed part of the list anyway.
I now have two lists: one for home and one for work. The work list has made me feel calmer and more motivated about the week ahead, when I have a few deadlines to meet. My home list needs a bit more work, being mainly divided into decluttering and cleaning at the moment. It could do with breaking down a bit more, but it’s a start at least.
It’s not been the most glamorous Saturday in the world and I’ve had some things on my mind, but I feel better for getting life stuff done.
Sometimes I struggle to get started on a blog post. There are days when a theme or idea comes easily, and I know early on in the day what I’m going to write about. At other times, my head is muddled and I have a load of ideas, issues and concerns buzzing around inside it. Today is a day like that, a day when I’m not sure where to start.
I suspect that this comes down to being a bit overwhelmed by ‘stuff’. By this, I mean both physical stuff and ‘to do’ list stuff. ‘To do’ list stuff suggests that I actually make ‘to do’ lists, which I don’t, but I think that I am actually going to make one. I need to do some prioritising and writing things down will help me see exactly what I need to do and what is most important.
My workspace is totally chaotic at the moment; I need a really good clear out. I’ve been time-starved recently, which hasn’t helped. I am hoping that next week I can physically clear the decks a bit so I’ll feel less overwhelmed.
So, this weekend I am going to focus on getting myself sorted with a plan of action and then actually starting to action that plan. There will be time for rest and relaxation as well, of course, and it’s been lovely to start the weekend by taking Mum out for a (late!) afternoon tea. However, I know that I’ll feel less stressed if I can be productive and make a dent in my soon-to-exist ‘to do’ list.
It’s a very busy time at work. It’s not really ever not busy, but this is a particularly intense time of the year. There’s the usual routine to go through, plus some extra stuff that is part of my own area of responsibility, and other tasks that add to all of our workloads at this time in the calendar. There are deadlines everywhere.
All of this means that, despite it being a short week, it’s felt long and exhausting, and I think this is only partly down to a late night on Tuesday. Some careful planning is required so that I can get everything that needs to be done finished on time and to the right standard.
Tomorrow evening I’m having some quality time with Mum, so I’ll relax at the start of the weekend. I’m going to need to be well rested so that next week (when there is more important stuff going on) I’ll be on top form.
I’m so tired that I haven’t been for a walk or done any other self-care stuff. I haven’t meditated since I don’t know when. Part of me feels guilty about this, like I’m self-sabotaging by not really looking after myself properly. Then I feel frustrated with myself for feeling guilty. Round in circles I go.
One more working day until the weekend, then.
My darling lovely Mum celebrates her 7th birthday today. I’ve written before about how lush she is and it is very nice to get to spoil her.
As a carer for my brother, Mum doesn’t get to indulge in a lot of self care, so I’m treating her to afternoon tea on Friday and am hoping to take her on a spa break sometime, too. Her birthday celebrations have been fairly low key so far, so I want to make a bit of fuss.
Mum hit me with the sobering news this evening that, at my age, she was already without her own Mum, my Nanni. My parents are at the slightly morbid stage now so I guess I should have kind of expected a strange remark or some sort, but this brought me up short.
Along with praise for Mum, my blog has often recounted how I am a terrible adult, needing supervision for the most mundane of things such as a blood test. This is due to being prone to fainting in the past and ongoing anxiety associated with medical procedures. It’s scary to think that, at my age, Mum’s support from her own Mum was already gone. And not just the hand holding at stressful events, but that support and advice, too. Mum’s milestone birthday gives me a chance to celebrate and appreciate the love and support I get from her, and admire her. She’s famously nice but is tough along with it.
People say that Mum and I look alike and, if we share more qualities than just our looks, I’m very lucky.
Happy birthday, Mum.
Sorry folks, there’s football in this blog again…
Swansea lost at home to Southampton tonight. This is a Big Deal. It means that we now rely on Huddersfield losing their remaining two matches and us winning against Stoke if we are to stay in the Premier League next season.
I’ve written before about how huge Premiership football has been for the city. There are people whose jobs will go if the team gets relegated: people who aren’t players or even coaching staff. Ordinary enough jobs for ordinary enough Swansea folk.
It’s tough when things are out of our control. The Swans have some control over their own destiny, but it also hinges on the performance of others. That’s something we can’t influence and it’s tough to feel powerless. The people whose jobs are linked to Swansea being a Premiership club must feel impotent. It’s amazing how the performance of a few men playing a game can affect the lives (and livelihoods) of so many.
So what can you do when you’re dependent on the actions of others? I suppose it’s a matter of taking any reasonable action you can in order to help yourself, then considering the possible outcomes and how you can deal with each one.
For now, at least, there’s still hope.
Bank Holiday Mondays are great. You don’t get that Sunday doom feeling the day before, there’s an extra lie in and the subsequent working week is a day shorter. Result.
I have been enjoying my extra day of freedom by shopping for a birthday card for my mother. She’s 70 on Wednesday. It’s easy to find a 70th birthday card, or a ‘Mum’ birthday card. However, if I were to make a Venn diagram out of the two card options, there would only be the teeniest tiniest sliver of overlap. I struggled. I rejected one that made it seem like she was ready for a nursing home already and settled on one that was fairly inoffensive. I’ve got her a nice present so hopefully that will make up for the meh card.
As it’s another sunny day, I walked to a street food festival and ate some street food (cheesy chilli fries: very nice) and drank a street shake (Ferraro Rocher flavour: also very nice). I may be overdoing the food excitement somewhat as I’m off to a barbecue this evening, but you have to grab all the barbecue possibilities you can what with the unreliable British ‘summer’ weather.
I feel pretty satisfied that I’ve made the most of the long weekend. I’ll have spent time with different friends, done a variety of stuff and have had some ‘me’ time. Not bad at all.