I need some. So tired today…
Studying at the end of a day in work has been pretty tiring today. It’s still interesting and enjoyable, though, and useful and relevant to my job.
My poorly brother has been diagnosed with cellulitis and it’s good to know exactly what the problem is. Due to his learning difficulties and ASD he has communication difficulties, so could be in much more pain that he lets on. It’s always a worry when he’s ill because of this, as it’s difficult to tell just how poorly he is. He had been to the hospital daily, but is now back on oral meds, which makes things much easier for my folks.
I’m making plodding progress towards meeting all my deadlines for this week so I’m feeling optimistic that everything is coming together on time.
It’s going to be an early night for me, though, and I suspect it will be the same tomorrow. Not very rock and roll, but it’s the best self-care I can give at the moment.
I’m trying to find my blogging rhythm again after a few missed days. I feel like I’ve lost my way somewhat with self-care; I’ve still been doing things I enjoy but not really emphasising self-care. I haven’t walked for about a week. I haven’t practised mindfulness.
There has been a lot happening so I should probably cut myself some slack. My brother is poorly. Work is pressured due to dates and deadlines. I’ve had to deal with some practicalities that haven’t been pleasant. I question whether I’m making excuses, but I think they genuinely are reasons.
The practicalities I’ve been dealing with today are connected to the stressful experience I had last time I was off work. I’m looking forward to the bank holiday to be able to get some of the rest and recuperation I missed out on then.
I’m going to ride out this week without putting too much pressure on myself to actively self-care. Next week hopefully I’ll return to better habits.
My blogging has been pretty intermittent this week. It’s been a tough one, with illness and a lot to do in work making it a struggle to get through. Most evenings I’ve come home and gone to bed, desperate for rest.
Today my cold is feeling better, but I’m exhausted. I went out to have my hair coloured and cut, called in the garden centre, came home and then had to go for a nap. It’s only around 7pm and I feel like going to bed already.
I feel really lazy sleeping so much on a Saturday, but I’m trying to be kind to myself about it: if I’m this tired, I must need the rest so should just go with how my body is feeling. It doesn’t help that it’s a beautiful day and I feel guilty for not making the most of it.
Tomorrow I am calling into work for a couple of hours. At least that will get me up and out of the house, and hopefully I’ll have more energy after all of this rest today.
A big work thing went fine.
Some worries have been alleviated.
Tomorrow is Friday.
These things truly feel like weights being lifted.
I’m still suffering from a cold. This has made the past few days a struggle. It also hasn’t helped that this coincides with a very important time in work with lots of deadlines, plus a big night out that I’ve been looking forward to. Add to that some worries about friends and it’s hard going right now.
I ended up sweating my way through the night out: a music gig in Cardiff that recaptured my youth and gave me the chance to catch up with a lovely former colleague. It was a late night: never great so early in the week.
Over the past couple of days I’ve been frantically putting together work for a meeting tomorrow. It’s all come together but has taken a lot of organisation. I’m optimistic that the meeting will go smoothly. They could be famous last words, but hopefully not.
There are some more work deadlines that I need to meet next week, so I need to get focused to deal with those. They are my next priority. Thankfully it’s then the bank holiday and a bit of time off.
All in all, I feel like I’m juggling a fair few balls at the minute, and I’ve never had great dexterity in that department. Let’s hope none of them drop.
I am admitting defeat at a ridiculously early hour this evening (even by my own fairly low standards), having struggled through the working day fuelled by a mixture of antihistamines, throat spray and paracetamol. I do not feel good. My voice keeps coming and going and I have to use it all the time in work, so that makes things more difficult.
Last night I was inexplicably awake into the small hours. I wanted to get an early night in but, underneath a layer of fuzzy-headed fog, I was awake. It was so frustrating and I am sure has made today even more of a challenge.
Optimistically I brought home two lots of paperwork but have only managed one. I do have some time tomorrow that I can use to get the other job finished (the deadline is Thursday). Why I thought I’d be able to do a load of work the evening after struggling to sleep, I don’t know, but Leaving Work Me seems to think far too highly of Home Me.
I’m going out tomorrow night, so I have to get through the day. It will be a nice reward and I hope that I have the energy to enjoy it.