Last week was fairly crazy by most standards. I’d returned to work, was finding my momentum again after a week’s holiday, and then amber weather warnings scuppered the last two days. Despite being off for the previous week, on Thursday I struggled to get going much before midday. Friday was vaguely more productive, but yesterday was interrupted by a trip into work to help deal with the damage caused by several burst pipes.
So, where does that leave me today? Basically, feeling like I could have been much more industrious on my unexpected time off and made better use of my time. Basically, guilty. Guilt has gnawed away at me today, reminding me of what I could have got done. I also felt unsettled until I hit my 10,000 step target just after 5pm, even though I’m ending the day on over 11,600 steps. I felt guilty about the possibility of not achieving my goal.
I frustrate myself when I feel like this. I’ve blogged before about my inner critic, and she’s pretty mouthy today. It’s time to silence her by celebrating the weekend’s achievements. I’ve got a good chunk of paperwork done. I’ve visited friends, my family and my brother’s visited me. I’ve got life stuff done: shopping, laundry, cooking. I helped in a crisis at work. I’ve spent time on self-care: reading, meditating and walking. Speaking of walking, I’ve met my goal every day so far. That’s a good thing.
Rational me knows that I haven’t done badly. However, that inner critic does keep chirping away. Acknowledging my achievements doesn’t silence her, but it does turn the volume down somewhat. I think self criticism is useful and healthy to some extent, as it helps us to work on our weaknesses, to grow and develop. Keeping things in perspective, though, is something I need to keep working on.